Alex and Kaitlyn Original Text
Stella is afraid of the dark.
I have told her it is silly.
I have told her I will protect her.
But Stella is still scared.
When we go to bed she shivers.
In the dark she shakes.
She sees big scary shapes.
She hears little scary sounds.
She hears oooohs and boooos.
I tell her it is only the wind.
But Stella is still scared.
She hears steps on the roof.
Our revision Starring
Hubert
Tina
Stella
In earnest conversation, Hubert confided to Tina that his dog Stella has a phobia of the dark.
"I have told her it is insensible because I will protect her", he elaborated, "but she is still terrified"
Hubert fought back recollections of terrifying creatures, while Stella slept peacefully.
Tina looked skeptical as Hubert complained about Stella's fears of the scary sounds, such as oohhs, booos, and steps on the roof.
Original Text
Stella is afraid of the dark.
I have told her it is silly.
I have told her I will protect her.
But Stella is still scared.
When we go to bed she shivers.
In the dark she shakes.
She sees big scary shapes.
She hears little scary sounds.
She hears oooohs and boooos.
I tell her it is only the wind.
But Stella is still scared.
She hears steps on the roof.
Our revision
Starring
Hubert
Tina
Stella
In earnest conversation, Hubert confided to Tina that his dog Stella has a phobia of the dark.
"I have told her it is insensible because I will protect her", he elaborated, "but she is still terrified"
Hubert fought back recollections of terrifying creatures, while Stella slept peacefully.
Tina looked skeptical as Hubert complained about Stella's fears of the scary sounds, such as oohhs, booos, and steps on the roof.